


Things you said to no one else

by DaydreamDestiel



Series: Prompted Fics [9]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Season 11
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-04
Updated: 2016-05-04
Packaged: 2018-06-06 09:41:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6748663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaydreamDestiel/pseuds/DaydreamDestiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt from @queenofallthekitties: Things you said to no one else. </p><p>Dean needs Cas to expel Lucifer. This is his desperate attempt to get Cas to snap out of it and come back to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Things you said to no one else

“Cas?”

Cas barely lifted his eyes from the television in front of him and Dean swallowed hard. Crowley had warned him what to expect, and sure as shit, here he was standing in the bunker’s kitchen while Cas sat hunched over, eyes glued to some TV show. Only it wasn’t the bunker, not really, the two of them were in Cas’s mind.

It’d taken way too long, and a lot of craftiness on Rowena’s part to get him in here and ward the space against Lucifer. He didn’t have long before Lucifer ripped his way through it though, and he needed to get Cas to expel him before that happened.

Cas was already looking back at the screen in front of him. He hadn’t even responded to his name. Dean crossed the room in quick strides, and dropped down on his haunches beside Cas. He looked tired, the bags under his eyes more pronounced, and his tan skin sallow.

“Cas, buddy? You with me?” Dean asked, reaching his hands up to shake Cas’s shoulders gently.

“Dean?” Cas finally managed, but it came out as barely more than a whisper and it made something hot and angry and desperate churn in Dean’s gut.

This was Cas, and he was barely hanging on, and how the hell was Dean supposed to get him back? What had he done the last time? When Cas was being controlled by Naomi? He’d always wondered if it had been his words or Cas’s will that broke the connection then. Now words were all he had, and god knows, Dean wasn’t good with words, so maybe they tumbled out choked and full of emotion, but at least they started to come to him.

“Yeah, Cas. It’s me. Listen, you gotta expel Lucifer. We don’t have much time, man.” Dean told him as he ran one hand down Cas’s arm in a motion he hoped was soothing.

“Why? We need him to beat Amara.” Cas replied, and Dean’s heart dropped.

How out of touch was Cas in here? How far gone? What the hell had Lucifer been doing to him all this time?

“Cas, we got Amara months ago.” Dean informed him, guilt twisting his insides like he’d been sliced open. “Lucifer- he, uh, skipped out right after and we’ve been trying to track you down ever since.”

“That can’t be right.” Cas mumbled, eyes turning back to the tv, and Dean got the distinct impression he was losing him.

Dean’s hands flew up to Cas’s face, cradling his jaw gently as he forced Cas’s eyes back to his.

“Cas, you gotta believe me. We need you. _I_ need you, remember?” Dean pleaded with him.

“You don’t need me Dean.” Cas argued, weakly trying to pull away. “You never did.”

“Cas! Don’t say that! _Of course_ we need you! You’re _family_!” Dean burst out, frustrated that he wasn’t getting through to Cas, and wetness pooled in his eyes, because damn it, how could Cas think that?

“No, Dean. Sam is your family. And you’ll be fine without me. Everyone will be. I have nothing to offer any of you.” Cas said calmly, and the rehearsed lines burned into Dean.

“It’s _different_ with you Cas.” Dean tried, wanting to say words that he could never seem to unlock, words that he’d never said to anyone, words that even now didn’t want to cooperate. “You know that. _We’re_ different.”

Cas just stared at him for a moment, and just a little bit of shock and something very much like hope shone in his eyes. And for a brief second, Dean really thought that this was it, this was Cas breaking through, but in a flash it was replaced by the same dispassionate look he’d been wearing since Dean arrived.

A sudden clawing noise reminded Dean he was losing time, losing Cas. Lucifer was tearing through the spell bit by bit, ripping it apart, and Dean needed to get Cas to expel him _now._

“It’s just in my head.” Cas mumbled, and he tried to pull away again. “He said it was just me.”

Dean’s hands slid around into Cas’s hair and he pulled him down to crush their lips together. The kiss was rough and messy, and at first Cas hardly reacted, but then his hands were fisting in Dean’s shirt and his tongue was sliding against Dean’s and every word that didn’t want to come out unlocked as Dean pulled back just far enough to speak.

“I love you. It’s different because I _love_ you, Cas.” Dean told him simply. “I _need_ you to expel Lucifer and come back. _Please_.”

He kept his eyes closed, and their foreheads pressed together and he prayed; he sent every little bit of longing and need and want all rolled up in an i-love-you-don’t-leave to Cas.

Cas’s sudden sharp intake of breath told him he’d somehow gotten it, and when Cas’s lips pressed against his again warmth spread through Dean’s chest because this was Cas saying he loved him too, and everything was going to be okay.

White light lit up the back of Dean’s eyelids, and he squeezed his eyes shut tighter, even as he clung to Cas fiercely trying to hold on to him. Dean wasn’t entirely sure if the spell was breaking or if Cas was expelling Lucifer, but he didn’t want to lose him either way.

His attempts proved futile though, because seconds later he woke up back on the worn out mattress of the abandoned house they’d performed the spell at.

“Fuck!” Dean cursed as he sat up, headache blooming, black spots dancing in his eye sight.

Sam was instantly supporting him, and helping him lean back against the wall. Dean didn’t look at him; he couldn’t. Sam’s face would be filled with concerns and questions that he didn’t know how to answer and the twisting, rolling pain in his gut at the uncertainty was going to explode into a full blown panic if he saw any of that.

Instead he closed his eyes and tipped his head back to rest it against the wall too. He drew a steady breath as he realized the only way he was going to find out what had happened.

“You guys need to go.” Dean told them, and Sam’s hand tightened on his arm.

“Dean-” He started but Dean cut him off.

“Sam. He didn’t- I mean, I don’t know if- Fuck, Sam! I don’t know whether he expelled him or the spell broke but I can’t fucking leave it like this! If Lucifer’s still in there, and he hears the prayer I’m gonna make, then I don’t want you anywhere near me.” Dean said, eyes burning with need and unshed tears. “It took us months to pin down where he was for this spell. I’m sure as hell not waiting months to find out if it worked or not.”

“We’ll just be off then.” Crowley interrupted, and then it was as if neither he or Rowena had ever been there.

“I’m not asking you to Dean. But I’m not leaving either.” Sam answered a beat later, and the steel in his voice and in his expression were everything Dean needed just then to get him through the next part.

He nodded and rubbed his palms tiredly over his eyes; this was it. Either way he would know. He’d have Cas back or it would be over. So Dean prayed, just the location of the house because he wasn’t about to give Lucifer anything else to use against him if he hadn’t been expelled.

And then there was a flutter of wind, and Dean was looking up at who he hoped was Cas standing over him.

“Hello Dean.”

“Cas?” Dean asked, and he couldn’t help the hope from welling up in his chest at the soft smile that graced Cas’s face.

“I always come when you call.” Cas told him, nodding. “It’s me.”

“Tell me something I never told anyone else.” Dean demanded, trying to be rational, despite the grin that was spreading across his face.

“ _We’re_ different.” Cas echoed his earlier words, his own smile widening as he knelt in front of Dean.

Relief flooded through Dean and he reached out to pull Cas forward into a hug. Dean wrapped his arms around him, and tucked his face against Cas’s neck as he breathed in deep, just needing to feel him.

“Love you.” Dean mumbled against his skin, before pulling back to look into those endlessly blue eyes that he’d missed so god damn much it hurt.

“I love you as well, Dean.” Cas said with a familiar head tilt that seemed to make everything click back into place and put the world right again.

And for the first time in too damn long, Dean could breathe without a steady ache in his chest. Even Sam clearing his throat as he gave them that dopey, sappy look wasn’t enough to dampen Dean’s mood. Because Jesus, Cas was back, and Cas loved him, and finally things were going to start making sense.

 


End file.
